Diet friends or diet enemies?

Is anyone sabotaging your diet?

Congratulations for choosing to lose weight with Slim & Save. Our team of experts is here to help and support you on your weight-loss journey. As well as Slim & Save, it’s great to have the support of family and friends along the way. Sometimes, however, you may experience people around you who seem to go out of their way to try to make you fail.

If you have ever come across a ‘diet saboteur’ then this feature gives you some really useful tips on how to deal with those who seem desperate to see you slip up.

Let’s look at the different types of diet saboteur:

Controlling Partners

Whether this is your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend, your partner should be there to support you – always! Sometimes partners act in the opposite way and may even go out of their way to try to make you fail. This is possibly because they do not want you to become more attractive and thus more desirable to other people (who could become rivals for your affections). The way to deal with a controlling partner is to explain that losing weight will make you feel better about yourself and being happier and more positive will, in turn, benefit your relationship with them. If it’s the term ‘meal replacement diet’ or ‘VLCD’ that concerns them, then reassure your loved one by explaining that VLCDs have been used safely for decades by hundreds of thousands of people who have lost weight steadily and efficiently. You could also guide them to the Slim & Save website and let them take a look at the numerous success stories of people, just like you, who have lost weight on our VLCD programmes.

Jealous Friends

If you don’t see your friends too regularly then they may be surprised how you physically change as you lose weight. During your weight-loss journey you may have a few weeks gap between seeing your friends. So, for example, you might have last seen them when you were a size 18 and next time you see then you are a size 14. This can be a surprise for them and whilst most friends will praise your achievement some might find it threatening as it uncovers their own lack of self-esteem. Reiterate to them that your body may have changed but your friendship remains the same and that you value their ongoing support. Tell them how easy it is to lose weight with Slim & Save and if they want to, you can help them start a weight-loss journey too.

Crafty Colleagues

We all have one in our office – a little Princess who has the perfect figure and never needs to worry about what she eats. She might seem all sweetness and light but if she feels insecure she may try and trip you up. To stop you stealing her limelight she could start bringing you in cakes and sweets or putting extra sugar in your coffee etc. etc. If you think she is scheming against you then it’s best to confront her. Tell her firmly that you are on a diet and cannot be tempted as you are really happy with Slim & Save. Suggest that instead of spending money on cakes and treats for you that she donates the money to charity!

Needy Babies

Those of you who have children will know how demanding life as a parent can be. Having to prepare kids’ favourites such as fish-fingers and chips or sausage and mash can be hard going. Kids love crisps and chocolate and keeping a supply of treats in the house for them can also be very tempting. If your kids demand your time and attention then don’t turn to comfort food or be tempted to finish off their mealtime remains. Instead, either scrape their plates directly into the bin or freeze suitable leftovers IMMEDIATELY. If they demand snacks then insist that they alternate chocolate with healthy snacks like fruit.


Some people love to tell a scare story. Think of how many ‘urban myths’ exist today because of gossip intended to instil fear. If you know somebody who insists that they know better then take time to tell them the facts about VLCDs:

Why Slim & Save Works

Slim & Save experts understand that weight-loss needs to be safe. Quite simply, weight-loss occurs when you reduce the amount of calories that you consume. Fewer calories = more fat burned to make energy = weight-loss (that’s why Very Low Calorie Diets ‘VLCDs’ are so effective). If you follow the Slim & Save weight-loss programme as directed then you will lose weight quickly and safely.

In summary, keep positive and your positivity will definitely beat the bullies.


  1. after losing 9st 3lb on s&s im fed up of people thinking they have the right to critisise me about the way i look now….they never said anything when i was fat …

  2. When I first consulted my GP about doing a VLCD he gave me an “oh, for goodness sake” look and asked why I couldn’t just follow the NHS healthy eating guidelines. My response was that if it were that easy I’d have done it already, and that following a plan such as S&S ensures that (1) I don’t go too low and end up malnourished or with other health issues, (2) I will get 100% of my required nutrients, something I couldn’t guarantee if I ‘go it alone’ as I’m not a dietician, and (3) my portion sizes are easy to control.
    He listened, thought for a moment, then said they were all good points and gave me his blessing. And time has proved me right – you don’t just lose weight, you do so safely become healthier. So yah boo sucks to the naysayers!!

  3. A great article as we hear so often about unsupportive friends and or family. Always remember you are doing this for you and that is all that matters.

  4. I start Monday and am already dreading my husband’s attitude previous diets have shown his not supportive or happy for me. And doesn’t seem to want me to be happy in my self.
    It’s not going to be easy and I’m not giving in this time I’m 30 and I deserve this.
    I will be skinny !!!!!

  5. When I told hubby I was going on this diet he said ‘ok, me too’. We haven’t told anyone we’re on it as we’d like to get to the ketosis stage first. We’re both determined to give it our best shot as we both have over 3 stone to lose

  6. I am on week one and think im doing really well as I still am cooking my partners meals without pinching any but he came home with huge take away pizza and cheesy fries and beers how mean 🙁

  7. I am so pleased to say that I am lucky to have my hubby 100% behind me and to be honest its mw that sabotages my hard work but I have restarted and I am not messing it up this time. I am a week in and 7 pounds down :0

  8. Sabotage my diet! Not likely.. The problem is we are ready for change but our friends and family are not. People don’t usually like change especially when they can see you are changing for the better and feeling happy about it.

    Its easy for them to say “wow you`ve done so well, you deserve a treat – go on – one wont hurt”! Before you know it they are thrusting your favourite food in your hands…the key is to stay focused and firm on what you are doing and why you are doing it. I think we are secretly pricking their conscience that maybe they need to lose weight too! When we give in and take the treat which can knock us off balance, they are subconsciously happy that we have proven to them that diets don’t work so they need not bother anyway!

    Then there is the “don’t lose any more- you are going to thin gang”, friends who are not used to seeing you look so good. They want their old friend back because they enjoyed your company & old eating habits. Some of my friends have never had a weight problem so its complete negativity “what you doing that for- its not even food”,they don’t understand but are quite happy to show you their latest fashion venture-obviously size 10 -I have to swallow it and that makes me even more determined to fight the flab!

    Then when you have managed to get through the above the other half suddenly realises that you look great….jealousy creeps in….you`re not going out next week are you?…What are you doing this for you looked ok before? Do you think I need to lose a few pound? You are always out walking or exercising….

    I have had to make BBQ`s, food shop,dish out takeaways,cook all meals and even had my 12 year old thrust my favourite crisps into my hands!!!

    But hey…I am going to do this with or without them..its my journey, my body, my life!


  9. My father in law that I am very close to is a very large man himself. Every time I started a diet he would cook meals for me to freeze or book a table because I either needed treating or because I looked like I needed feeding up. It took me months before I twigged he just hated me losing weight as it made him feel bad about his extra stones. I was always too polite to say no as I was worried about hurting his feelings, however I was hurting mine more so I toughened up, said no, explained this was about me and not him!! a year on and 7 stone lighter he now respects that its my choice to stay slim, just as it’s his choice to stay big!!

  10. My son ! he constantly whinges for ice cream, chocolate and cheese (blame the nursery here, they had an ice cream booth, feed him cheese for snack time and make chocolate cupcakes!) i rarely buy ice cream in, but i have to admit when i want him to be quiet I’ll buy him some. we end up getting two mini tubs and because i can taste egg (i hate egg by the way, blame my mother who poisoned me with them) we go for the “healthy option” which is a cashew vegan version, still calorific. Did i mention hes very fussy too and this is one of the few ways to “fatten him up” but at the same time “fating myself up too”.

  11. wow i love this thread, Its all there and puts what friends and family really are doing. My partner all i get is ‘don’t know why you can’t just eat normal like everyone else’ My mum ‘your fine the way you are your face is looking to thin’ My friends ‘ I don’t think it suits you, you look gaunt’ And then before doing this you get ‘should be be eating that?’ ‘You’ve put on a few lbs.’ You can never seem to win but what i have learned is all that matters is what i think i let all the comments go over my head now just the other day my partner said ”well you don’t want to be to skinny” Well yes i do! I embrace the comments now makes me try twice as hard to get to goal, Bring on being skinny skinny 🙂

  12. My diet enemy is my jobs . As a dinnerlady at a primary school I feed a special needs girl her dinner and in my other job I work as a checkout operator seeing lots of delicious cakes and goodies go past. When its a birthday at school they always have cakes and you always get the skinniest one saying “one wont do you any harm” .But ive now started saying “its all those ones that got my here, so thanks, but i’ll pass” I find that as I work with mostly women that they do try to scupper your progress but as I have a very supported husband and best friend I will succeed with this journey…….onwards and downwards

  13. Saboteurs from loved ones to work colleagues. Comments ranging from ‘One won’t hurt!’ to you are such a killjoy to the re occurring Starving yourself again?! lead myself open to a variety of questions, comments and ridicule making me feel like a Social Pariah! I try to put this all into perspective. The Saboteur feels threatened that you are finally taking charge of your life. You are no longer that chubby reliable friend/partner/family member who perhaps would join in for coffee and cake anytime or perhaps the person that was forever ribbed in front of others for being on the ‘large size’, you laughed along with them but you were crying inside… Ask yourself why you are doing this and most importantly for who? Would you let a sneaky or snide comment get in the
    way of your goal, your happiness I . A true friend would congratulate your efforts unlike a Saboteur who has their own insecurities by belittling your success. The truth of the matter is I AM winning.

  14. The Saboteur may not realise they are actually doing more harm by offering you that cake, by telling you, ‘One bite won’t hurt!’The Saboteur feels threatened that you are finally taking charge of your life. You are no longer the chubby reliable friend/ partner/ family member who would join in for coffee and cake, at any time, the one that they could rib about extra weight when you laughed with them, but you were crying inside.

    I have let many ‘friends’ go, these Saboteurs. A true friend would congratulate you, not ridicule your efforts like a Saboteur would. In reality they have their own insecurities and by belittling your success they are trying to bring you down. I have turned down many events, felt like a Social Pariah!, cradled coffee when others were having full blown 3 course meals and been looked upon with pity, sneered at because I am not ‘enjoying myself’… But I am. I am enjoying being in control, not giving in, my goal is in sight and no one will stop me.

  15. If you are not determined to get the weight off, then the main diet saboteur is yourself. I have been on a diet on and off for the last five years – I have had a rather messy break-up, a house-move, a new job, three untimely deaths and a brand new relationship in that time. Every time it was always; ‘Oh I deserve this, because I have gone through that’ or ‘I will start next week because this week was really bad’. This time has been different though – I have made such a massive deal about it that even though my mum was all ‘you can’t even have one profiterole?’ and my colleagues have been wafting Haribo under my nose, I have been standing resolute. So instead I face it head-on – I challenged my mum to make a Simplicity meal for our Sunday dinner (roast chicken and swede rosti – oosh!) and I have been posting my weight loss up in the staff room at work – there is even talk of sponsorship for our favourite local charity once I reach goal 🙂 Already 23% of the way there and this is for ME

  16. I think you just have to explain to them that you would be a much happier partner/friend/colleague if you were happier and healthier and would they want you to carry on being miserable! You’re always going to have negativity towards ANY diet as people always seem to have a ‘better’ way but at the end of the day it’s down to individual choice and people will soon come round when they see you looking fabulous in a few months!

  17. I find the best way to refuse food offered by others is to say either “I don’t like it” or in extreme circumstances ” I’m allergic”. If you let people know that you are on any type of diet plan there will always be saboteurs. I had the same thing when I gave up smoking, if I told them I’d given up, it would be,”Just have one”, but once I changed it to “I don’t smoke”. I never got the same pressure. It’s your own personal weight loss journey, so if you can keep it to yourself, it makes sense! The only thing then is that you don’t get the recognition for all your hard work, so it can be a no win situation.

    Good luck to everyone on sns, and let’s hope that we can all beat the saboteurs!

  18. My partner Peter supports me in my attempts to lose weight and feel happier in myself …. It’s friends who unintentionally try to sabbotage my attempts by saying thins like one won’t hurt and you don’t need to lose weight ! The thing is that a lot of them could do with losing a few lbs themselves though I would never say that to them … I just wish they would think before making comments sometimes …. I love slim and save as it gives me control over what I am doing. 🙂

  19. The Saboteur – who hasn’t experienced this particularly treacherous archetype which seems to infiltrate our subconscious, trying to derail our efforts to change? This, for me, is the worst kind of sabotage, when it’s self-inflicted – I can’t understand why I listen to that insidious voice, or even why I have it – what purpose does it serve other than to sow doubt and cause me pain?

    The second type of Saboteur is often just as subtle and damaging: the person(s) who care about our well being, whose undermining behaviour is based more on their needs rather than mine. Some people are easier to ignore than others but the main problem is that we who have emotional issues around food find it difficult to put ourselves and our needs first, above those of our loved ones.

    The journey of transformation is a tough one but I WILL reach the finishing post, bruised and battered no doubt, but victorious. Good luck and a fair wind to all my fellow travelers x

  20. I personally think I am the main person that sabotages myself, I am ashamed to admit this!

    But outside influences really do not help at times, if you see something that looks tasty, you mention it then walk on by, but then you have someone that knows you are on this VLCD go on at you, Oh it’s a bargain, go on get it, 1 wont hurt!! Over and over until if you are anything at all like me, you CAVE!

    People have always been able to influence me 🙁

    But luckily I have my lovely partner and he has helped me no end! he wants us to be healthy, he thinks this VLCD is the way for us, food taken away, and as he says

    ‘Sod everyone else, this is for us and no one is going to ruin it for us, keep your chin up Honey we can do this!!’

    I am truly grateful to him and to Slim and Save, I feel healthier and happier for the first time in years, without either I would still be the same me letting everyone dictate and influence me! This is OUR time now, and YOURS, we can all do this guys 🙂 x

  21. My biggest diet saboteur is…myself. It’s amazing what your mind can tell you when it really gets going – “no point in carrying on”, “you might as well stay this way”, “if you’ve eaten that, you might as well eat this, too”…and on, and on, forever if you let it. Lots of “might as well”s, in fact. I’m doing my best to ignore that negative little voice, but that’s been by far my biggest problem so far.

  22. A diet saboteur well when in life your in love with a partner you think your happy with that person you plod along in life with money, house, food, jobs, partner who don’t work you ask your partner if you need to lose weight they say no you don’t and diets cost alot so you just act confident and plod along with them thinking they have your best interests in mind they wouldn’t be with you if they didn’t love you! your with this partner 7 years plodding along and just surviving on dealS supermarkets (which is bad processed food) because of money, getting bigger and bigger in weight less confident but you get very good at blocking out convinced your happy everything will be ok one day, you get married in a dress which you never wear dont never do dresses you look back at pictures and all you are is ashamed you let yourself get controlled then 5 months later you find out he cheated loads, finally it clicks leave him, start slimsave meet new bf and realise how happy you can really be finally.

  23. Fortunately I haven’t fallen victim to any of the mentioned comments above but one feeling I have felt is guilt. I have a close member of family who told me in April that she would hand me down her clothes when she lost weight doing another diet. I have succeeded in getting to a lower weight and dress size but now I feel guilty telling her my weight losses weekly as she is now putting on.

    Another scenario is a colleague makes me feel guilty for losing weight as she doesn’t want to be the big one. Fortunately as I work part time, I don’t need to eat at work so there is no chance she can add to my food 🙂

    After speaking to a few people I realise that I’m doing this fab VLCD for me. No one else and I’ve worked so hard to get to where I am. Don’t let others drag you down. Keep your head up and we will succeed.

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