September 10th 2011 – today is the day, my sister in laws wedding. We’ve all been talking about nothing else for the last 18 months and it’s finally here. On goes the dress that I spent months looking for, and oh my god, I feel like the fattest person in the world! Great I have an hour and a half to rectify the mammoth mistake that is staring at me in the mirror. Of course, there is nothing I could do, so off I go to the wedding. Perfect venue, perfect weather, perfect bridal couple, perfect everything – and then there’s me!
I am sure we’ve all felt like that from time to time, but this time I actually felt embarrassed to be there. I felt like everyone was staring wondering how anyone could let themselves get like that. I am sure it was just me feeling that considering the fantastic friends and family I have and I have never felt anything but loved, but at 38 years of age I should not be feeling like this and so unhealthy.
So, I have to decide what I can do – go to the gym? How on earth can I go to the gym, I can barely get up a flight of stairs without being out of breath! I have to lose weight to enable me to go to the gym to lose weight…… back to square one!